Relationships | Health & Wellness

Unprotected Sex Risks Remain Ignored

bed man woman Unprotected Sex Risks Remain Ignored Despite all of the education and information out there about the risks of having unprotected sex, people still seem to think they’re invincible and have the “it won’t happen to me attitude.”

According to a poll by Wet, a manufacturer of intimacy products, only 50% of people surveyed claimed to use protection during sexual intercourse. What is the other half thinking? Even more shocking – 18% claimed they never used protection.

Even though there are many different methods of birth control, the condom is your best bet from protecting you from STIs and STDs. In the survey, 56% of participants admitted to having intercourse with someone without even knowing their whole name. This proves how casual the act of sex has become.

One of the reasons women chose not to use condoms in the bedroom is because their partner hates them, but ladies, the risks aren’t worth the minute of pleasure. Look into different types of protection and find ones that work for you.

Are Cougars Extinct or on the Dating Prowl?

ashton demi1 300x300 Are Cougars Extinct or on the Dating Prowl? Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson. While it used to raise eyebrows, women dating younger men seems to be coming more and more common. But is it just a Hollywood phenomenon with the likes of Demi Moore and Courtney Cox’s character from Cougar Town leading the parade? Researchers from Cardiff School of Health Sciences think women still prefer to date men their age or older.

Researchers reviewed data from several online dating sites to determine the age preferences selected. While there was some cultural differences in age preference, the vast majority of women in all age groups and cultures chose to be matched with men who have a few more miles on their tires.

But don’t let some research stop you from getting your groove back, Stella. When it comes to dating, we all have our personal likes and dislikes. Narrowing down age group may help you find a partner who matches your interests and energy level. So if a May-December romance is your preference … more power to you.

Learning From Lost Loves

heartbroken 300x199 Learning From Lost Loves Break ups suck. Even the most amicable of break ups can leave you feeling hurt, confused and send you running for the chocolate ice cream. But like chirpy little kids on Glee singing “Don’t Stop Believing,” our hearts just keep going back for more.

Douglas LaBier, Director of the Center for Progressive Development, thinks there’s a fly in the love searching fool’s ointment. LaBier thinks that often, singles just keep finding new, slightly modified versions of the exes. In other words, we get screwed and then keep going back for more. An honest assessment of my past relationships confirms his theory. How about you?

But put your hands up, single ladies, because there is hope for us yet. Labier suggests we all make a relationship inventory:

- Make a list of all your meaningful past relationships.

- Write down what attracted you to that person and really think it through. Consider what your life was like at the time, what qualities you found attractive in the person and what you thought about love at the time.

- Describe what led to the break up.

- Write down what you learned from the relationship. Maybe you didn’t learn anything at the time, but looking back now you might be able to see some valuable lessons.

- Consider how those lessons can help you in future relationships.

Learning from lost loves may not take the sting out of a break up. But failed relationships can help us learn more about ourselves, what we can do better in future relationships, and what qualities are really important to look for in a partner (not to mention the qualities we want to avoid).

Can Sleeping Apart Bring You Closer?

sleepingapart 300x232 Can Sleeping Apart Bring You Closer? As much as you may love your partner, sometimes insignificant habits and traits can start to wear on you after a while. Some differences you just have to learn to live with. But when it comes to sleeping habits, maybe you don’t have to live with it after all. Maybe he snores and you steal all the covers. You like to curl up with a book and he likes to sleep with the TV on. Varied sleep habits can lead to one or both halves of a couple not getting a good night’s sleep. A growing number of couples are choosing to solve their sleep differences by sleeping in different beds. Maybe Lucy and Ricky Ricardo were on to something.

Professionals are divided on whether separate beds/rooms are a good thing for couples. On one hand, you’re more likely to get a good night’s sleep if you have the bed to yourself, some time alone can be beneficial, and you can keep your own personal bedtime rituals and sleep habits without disturbing your partner. It’s not as if sex has to suffer; you can certainly sneak down the hall to your partner’s room. It might even have a little naughty thrill to it! On the other hand, there’s a definite intimacy that comes from sharing a bed with your partner and waking up with them. Could letting go of that intimacy be damaging?And while a healthy sex life is still completely possible for couples who sleep in separate beds, those middle of the night “oh hey, we’re both awake, why don’t we…” moments wouldn’t present themselves anymore.

What do you think? Can sleeping apart bring you closer? Or do you think it would lead to problems in your relationship?

Internet Connection Leads to Love Connection

couple Internet Connection Leads to Love Connection Step over Chuck Woolery, the Internet now plays host to love connections. In fact, Stanford researchers surmise that the Internet will soon become the main method of meeting a mate. Odds are you already know many people who met online — just ask your paired up friends and see. I’ll proudly admit it.

“But he could be an ax murderer.” Those were the first words out of my mother’s mouth when she discovered I met my boyfriend online. I guess she’s right. It’s not as if those online dating profiles specifically ask the “are you now or have you ever been an ax murderer” question. But I lucked out; I have a great guy in my life who I just happened to meet online. In fact, he and I often comment on how — if it hadn’t been for the Internet — we never would have met. Not only would distance have made it unlikely, but we probably wouldn’t have connected at a casual meeting, because we don’t seem to fit together at first glance. We come from different backgrounds and I’m way more goody-two-shoes than he is, but when it comes to values and opinions over the really important things in life, he and I are just like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

My success story isn’t unusual. Stanford researchers found that people with an Internet connection were more likely to be in a relationship than those who aren’t on the Web. As recently as 1990, the main way of meeting your partner was through friends. But that number is on the decline and Internet romance is on the rise. What’s more, break up rates are slightly lower for couples who meet online.

Bringing Sexy Back Post-Baby

crossedfingers Bringing Sexy Back Post Baby Your new baby is a beautiful miracle. A beautiful miracle that keeps you up all hours and hurt like heck to deliver. You may have stitches, you may have discharge and goodness knows you’re tired … so sometimes sex with your partner can take a back seat after baby arrives.

But even new moms can bring sexy back … just follow these tips:

- Follow your doctor’s orders. Many doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks for vaginal intercourse. Your body just needs time to heal — whether you gave birth vaginally or by C-section.

- Take care of yourself. You’re going to be tired … every new parent is. So it’s really important to take care of your health. Exercise, eat healthfully and try to sleep as much as possible. (Take shifts with your partner and try to sleep when the baby sleeps. (I know … that’s easier said than done.)) If you protect your own health as much as possible you’re going to be more energetic for that little baby and you’re more likely to have some energy left for time with your partner.

- Accept your body. Your body just did something truly miraculous. You probably have some major changes in your appearance, but you should be proud of those changes. Love the way you look right now, follow a healthy lifestyle, and return to pre-baby weight in a slow and healthful manner.

- Take opportunities. You and your partner may have had a routine or favorite time of day for sex before you had a baby. But your schedule is different now. If you’re in the mood and it’s during the baby’s mid-afternoon nap, go for it! A change in routine can be exciting.

- Be prepared. Your body is a bit different now, so be prepared. If you or your partner find lactating off-putting, then feed your baby or use a breast pump before sex. Keep lubricant on hand because your vagina might be a bit dry due to hormonal changes.

Thank Your Sister, She’s Good for Your Health

sisters Thank Your Sister, Shes Good for Your Health You often hear about sibling rivalry, but a new study shows the pros of have sibs — sisters in particular. Not only does having sisters increase your wardrobe, sisters can actually improve your health.

The study, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, found that having siblings promotes positive behaviors such as kindness and generosity. Having sisters can help ward off depression. I have three sisters and I know they’ve been my biggest confidantes. Researchers theorize that sisters may help with depression symptoms more than brothers because girls tend to be better at talking about feelings and often take on a caregiver role.

On the flip side, siblings who have an aggressive relationship with each other are more likely to exhibit that type of behavior with others.

Relationship Insecurity Can Lead to Real Heartache

insecurity1 300x224 Relationship Insecurity Can Lead to Real Heartache Does he really like me? Will he call? Why is he looking at that other woman? Is she prettier than me? Does he think I’m fat? Sometimes, we women are our own worst enemies. Negative, insecure and worrying thoughts can really wreak havoc on your self-esteem and your relationship. Recent research shows that relationship insecurity can lead to health problems.

The insecure-in-love had an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, stroke and chronic pain. Goodness knows I’ve had my share of relationship-related stress, but letting it lead to ulcers and such seems pretty extreme to me.

So how can you get over relationship insecurity, relax and feel secure? Getting past that insecurity is worth the effort … after all, there’s nothing sexier than confidence.

- If you’re dealing with relationship insecurity, put voice to your fears. Talk to your partner about your worries — odds are, you’ll figure out that many of your worries aren’t very rational.

- Start to understand what behaviors trigger your insecurities. For some things, you may be able to ask your partner to be sensitive to your needs. For others, you may have to face up to the fact that your fear isn’t justified.

- Maybe situations in your past have made you afraid of being hurt — try to keep in mind that while it’s important to learn from past relationships, you can’t hold your current partner accountable for others’ actions.

- Accept yourself for who you are — flaws and all. We’re all unique and beautiful in our own way and nobody is perfect.

- Open yourself up to loving someone fully and being loved in return. It’s a vulnerable position that puts you at risk of being hurt, but real love is worth that risk.