In the Dark Ages before the Internet, it used to be that if you wanted to date, you had to leave the house and go socialize with other human beings face to face. But as reported by fitGLOSS, a recent study found that nearly a quarter of couples met online and that number is expected to only grow.
But with the Internet comes a new set of dating rules, thanks to an age where potential relationships are further complicated by Facebook drama and Google search. While a recent survey showed that many experts think the Internet has actually improved relationships, the virtual world is still fraught with etiquette landmines. Here are a few ways to help you avoid unnecessary drama so you can safely navigate the world of online dating:
E-mail
Online flirtation via Facebook messages is fine for a little while but you’re ready to take this relationship to the next level: E-mail. Thanks to Google, it’s pretty easy to find people’s contact info but unless an e-mail address was given to you directly, it’s best to not use it. It’s a good chance they probably won’t appreciate your mad detective skills as much as you hope they would. When do you e-mail, remember: Brevity. Skip the e-mail novellas and stick to just a few sentences.
So while you haven’t exchanged e-mail addresses, you did finally schedule a date to meet face-to-face. Once you establish the basics, make the date and avoid long pre-date chat sessions. It’s not a mind game! No amount of AIM exchanges and emoticons can tell you if you’ll actually click with someone.
It’s been almost 24 hours and you still haven’t received a response. Resist the temptation to send a follow-up email. This isn’t a mind game – there’s a definite risk of coming off as desperate, clingy and/or co-dependent so resist the temptation if you can!
When you’re sitting behind a computer in relative anonymity, it’s easy to forget that behind the emails is a real person with feelings. If someone came up to you at a party and introduced themselves, would you just turn around and ignore them? Probably not. The same rules of etiquette that apply offline are valid online, too.
Facebook
Thanks to “Facebook stalking,” the social network seems to be known more for the dissolution of relationships than the catalyst. But considering that almost half a billion people are on Facebook (and they probably check their pages a billion times a day), it would be crazy to rule it out completely. But how do you make your move?
- ‘Poking’ someone who caught your eye is like calling them, breathing heavily into the phone for a few seconds then hanging up. Poke Wars with your best friend is one thing, but poking a potential date — good chance that won’t win their attention.
- Even if their phone number, e-mail and street address are listed on their profile page, it’s probably best to ask before using that info.
- Just like e-mail, keep Facebook exchanges short and sweet. If Friend Requests have been exchanged and accepted, then communicate via quick, lighthearted messages posted on the Wall. Otherwise, you’ll have to use Facebook messages. However, if you are Facebook friends, think before you send private messages Because messages are private, even if your message was totally lame, the implication is there — for some reason, your message couldn’t be shared in public.
- Facebook is notorious for opening up privacy settings when they add new features so if you’re account is private, you’ll have to go into your account and reset the settings. Otherwise, your potential date might have access to information that you would have preferred to keep from him until you at least met him.
Twitter
Twitter is great for re-tweeting the latest “Sh** my Dad Says” quotable and staying on top of that #JustinBieber trending topic, but as far as establishing any sort of date potential? While brevity is key, is 140 characters or less too… brev? According to dating site OK Cupid, the ideal message length is between 200-300 characters – just two Tweets. There’s even a Twitter dating service called Radaroo.
If not, there’s always the mix-tape.