Constance McMillen: Itawamba Student Sent to ‘Fake’ Prom, Cruel Hoax
By Lolita Carrico | Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 at 4:38 amREAD MORE IN: Hot Topics, Kids, Moms, School, Teens
Constance McMillen, who sued her Mississippi school for the right to bring her girlfriend to prom was humiliated and was sent to a “fake prom” on Friday! In a cruel hoax, McMillen, her date and few other students attended a dance in Fulton, Mississippi while most of her other classmates from Itawamba Agricultural High School reportedly partied at a separate prom that McMillen was not invited to.
Parents and students of this Itawamba, MS high school went to the trouble to create a ‘fake’ prom for just 7 students AND set-up a ‘real’ prom at another location! Simply for the purpose of being cruel to a group of students who are different.
According to Constance, two of the five other attendees of the “fake” prom had learning difficulties — apparently these students were not worthy of the ‘good’ prom.
The news of the cruel “fake prom” comes on the heels of nine teens are being charged with stalking, criminal harassment and violating Phoebe Prince’s civil rights after 15-year old Phoebe committed suicide due to bullying.
As a parent of of a child who was severely bullied by “mean girls”, I was physically sick when I read the latest news about Constance McMillen. As a mother, I try to teach my kids the “golden rule”. I want to shake each and every parent who was involved in this horrible injustice! I’m not letting the teens off the hook but I’m horrified by the actions of these parents! SafeYouth, a support organization created to stop bullying, says that bullies usually come from homes where parents are not engaged:
Children and teens that come from homes where parents provide little emotional support for their children, fail to monitor their activities, or have little involvement in their lives, are at greater risk for engaging in bullying behavior. Parents’ discipline styles are also related to bullying behavior: an extremely permissive or excessively harsh approach to discipline can increase the risk of teenage bullying.
Go to www.safeyouth.org for more information and support resources on bullying. What do you think should happen next?
[polldaddy poll=3017797]
Lolita Carrico says: Sickening. I have no words…
Alexander Barrington says: It was not a “fake” prom. It was the official prom; However, one student decided to have a private party. Many people opted to go to the private party instead of the prom. You cannot force somebody to invite you to their private party.
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My purpose in writing this article was to highlight the stupidity and gross behavior of the people who went to the trouble to plan and implement two different dances for two distinct groups of teens. It was not my intent to paint Constance McMillan as a victim—I think she is very brave and amazing. I just wanted you to know.
Neil Richardson says: Yeah the party was so private even the 7 students didn’t know about it.
She didn’t have an option to choose and didn’t know there were two proms.
The Menstruator says: Sue Sue Sue.
How damaging and upsetting… Of course the male oppressive society will get away with this, but she should sue them as that seems to be the only thing that can hurt a male.
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what? says:
How do you blame men for this? Yeah, it’s a male society. Does it have ANYTHING to do with a bunch of cruel, short sighted people? No. Men aren’t the ones that make the prom a big deal. Stop being such a psycho sexist. Yikes.
Lisa says: You live what you learn. Unfortunately. Parents who teach injustice, harassment, violence, racism, being gay is wrong, etc etc, is exactly what the children will not only grow up in but learn as well.
Maybe it’s time for everyone to wake up.
It’s no wonder why some in society have such a hard time accepting one’s sexuality.
Look at the example full grown adults are setting.
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Word. I’m sick about the teens who joined in this cruelty but THE PARENTS—the ones who are supposed to be setting an example—are the people involved who need a reality check.
Alan says: Neil, you and the author of this article have a knack for making false assumptions. She did know about the other prom, she was just too proud to show up where she knew she wasn’t wanted. She handled this with so much grace and dignity, and this article makes her sound like a pathetic hapless victim. Think and learn before you speak.
Court says: Alan, do you have proof of this? Please provide if you’re going to presume that she knew.
I am personally appalled that this had occurred. And there is no way the adults weren’t in on this, because as school officials they shouldn’t have let it happen.
[...] Read the full article… [...]
martin says: Aren’t there segregation and/or antidiscrimination laws against this type of thing. Sure it was a private prom, but the public school faculty was involved, so then it is in all legal sense a public event. Now if it was just the parents and the school was in no way involved, there really was no legal wrong being done, but both proms had school faculty chaparones, let alone “conspirators” so now this is a discrimination case all over again.
I really don’t miss Mississippi, glad I got out of there and only spent high school there.
kat says: The students who went to the “private party” have loads of photos on your facebook sites labeled “Prom 2010.” The photos show all the students dancing in prom dresses, tuxedos, wearing corsages, in a big decorated place with refreshments. The only students excluded from this “private party that everybody who went calls the prom” were Constance McMillen, her date, and a few learning disabled students. How cruel and low of the people of Fulton, MS and Itawamba High School.
Lara says: WOW!!! It’s people like that give Mississippi a bad name!
I’m so sorry for those 7 teens who were cast out and ostracized this way.
As for the adults who allowed for this happen (or more likely planned it themselves) – they are SCUM! I am disgusted that people like this exist in our country! I really hope the responsible parties are punished.
Sarah says: When southern states were told they had to allow black students to attend public schools, private schools sprung up all over the place, because of white students (well, their parents) choosing to go to private schools. Meanwhile, even at public schools, separate proms were held for black and white students. This just sounds like the same thing all over again.
Patrick O says: HIgh School Kid Finds Out Life Isn’t Fair. Film at 11!
Bren says: Wow. I’ve got to say that from the other side of the world this whole situation just reinforces my dislike of your country. I read a related article on this that said that as recent as 1994 at least one school in Mississippi had black/white segregated proms, and in 2004(!) a country club would only allow whites to a 10 year reunion.
As a resident in a multi-cultural country, I consider myself very lucky to never have to step foot in the US of A.
Toddges says: God, how I wish I could be an openly gay teen in a tiny religious town! It would really boost my Hollywood career and pay for college!
Read “After the Ball” by Marshall Kirk. This kid knows exactly what she’s doing. That $30 grand scholarship from Ellen is just the beginning. The whole world is checking up on her (even London). Making sure those kids treat her like royalty or else the big celebrities will.
She will be an instant star BECAUSE of this. She couldn’t land a better job in Hollywood than if she had a movie studio executive for a brother.
Trust me; there will be a movie all about this kid not getting to wear a tux to her prom.
Seriously; Read AFTER THE BALL by MARSHALL KIRK. This media campaign has been going on since 1990. It’s easy to be maniuplated but remember: this all started over a TUXEDO. If Constance had just worn a dress and danced with her girlfriend she would not have gotten arrested. Schools have dress codes and life goes on.
Kids, if you live in the south or midwest, and you can’t pay for college, simply come out of the closet, especially on your college cover letter. I kid you not. Come out and get paid and get free college and go to the top Ivy Leagues easily. I’ve seen it work. You will get a free pass if you are gay in a small town. Take my word for it. Look at Perez Hilton. What is he all rich and famous for?
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Marie says:
You’re an idiot. Do you think there are only like three gay people attending top universities? Look at the diversity statistics of schools like Brown and NYU, they have huge LGBT demographics, they don’t need to give out scholarships to get LGBT diversity. Not to mention you clearly do not understand the scale of harrassment that goes on in the daily lives of some young adults just becuase of their sexual preference- 99% of them go unnoticed, the reasons this instance is getting extensive media coverage are a) the Phoebe Prince suicide has peaked public interest on bullying b) because of the collusion between parents, school authorities and students is a completely extreme and inappropriate measure to go just to be able to FREELY DISCRIMINATE (i guess that’s what freedom means in America) and c) becuase they’re clearly circumventing a court order by taking advantage of a loophole. The concept that young adults would come out of the closet in a xenophobic small town just for the .0000001% chance that their story would be picked up by major medial outlets is just fantastical, idiotic and insensitive. You obviously spend wayyy too much time reading socially conservative propaganda and parroting “Focus on the Family”- Just because that book (which isn’t even a popular book) suggests a perhaps manipulative movement strategy does not mean there is some pervasive conspiracy that filters down to some random teenager in a small town in Mississipi!! Hi Glenn Beck!!
Toddges says: Chapter 3 in After th Ball by Marshall Kirk:
Good Propoganda:
“Portray Gays as Victims of Cirumstance & Oppression” page 183
“Give Potential Protectors a Just Cause” page 187
“Make Gays Look Good” page 187
“Make Victimizers Look Bad” page 189
“Getting Into the Major Media” page 205
Rowland says: There was no “fake” prom. The other students had their own private “prom” and didnt invite her. They had every right to do so.
Michael says: It was definitely mean… but the girl DID have the option of just dropping it and (god forbid) wear a DRESS to the prom, rather than get the ACLU to sue her school and piss all the students off by getting the prom canceled by default.
And to all the ridiculous people who think that she can “SUE, SUE, SUE” just because she was not invited to a PRIVATE prom/dance… you are what is wrong with America today. Sue-happy and indignant lol.
This did not have to happen… she insisted on pressing the matter and it backfired on her. Plain and simple.
Michael says: It was definitely mean… but the girl DID have the option of just dropping it and (god forbid) wear a DRESS to the prom, rather than get the ACLU to sue her school and piss all the students off by getting the prom canceled by default.
And to all the ridiculous people who think that she can “SUE, SUE, SUE” just because she was not invited to a PRIVATE prom/dance… you are what is wrong with America today. Sue-happy and indignant lol.
This did not have to happen… she insisted on pressing the matter and it backfired on her. Plain and simple.
AllanF says: This is outrageous. The court should prosecute the school and she should file a lawsuit.
I’m so appalled at this I can’t even begin to express it.
First of all, sure, the people of the town are within their legal rights to hold a privately funded party and invite or exclude whomever they choose. But the fact that this was done to exclude students who didn’t fit into a certain “desirable” box is morally repugnant all the same.
Secondly, in response to Bren, your comment is insulting and generalizing and judgmental. Things like this happen in the US, but that doesn’t mean everyone in the United States is a bigot or a close-minded fool. The fact that you would judge an entire country from isolated incidents is sad, and serves to reveal how short-sighted and closed-minded you yourself are. Ours is a country made up of individuals just like any other. Somewhere in the country you live, there are bigots. Maybe not concentrated the way they tend to be over here, but they’re there.
In response to Michael, you’re missing the point. She shouldn’t HAVE to just back off and go with the status quo if that’s not who she is. It’s so simple for some people who live privileged existences to look at those who are different or “other” and say, “why can’t you just fall in line?” Why don’t you try stepping back a second and considering a world in which key aspects of your self and your life are considered socially, religiously, or politically unacceptable. Would you just “drop it” and go with the flow? Because if you would, you’re a coward, and don’t deserve the freedom from persecution and tyranny that living in the U.S. is SUPPOSED to give to all its citizens.
squid says: This is clearly contempt of a court order. Hopefully when this case goes to trial the judge will see this for what it is. If he doesn’t then a dangerous precedent will have been set. a precedent where these events are essentially privitised and only the popular will be allowed to experience this right of passage.
Disability rights activists should also be coming down on what happened to the disabled children at this event.
What I would like to know is how the parents of those disabled kids feel about their children being excluded.
from what I have read anyway, the quality of a persons life seems to be inversly proportionate to the quality of their prom. prom queen becomes check-out assistant while the geek becomes CEO of big company and all that.
James says: The school was just trying to protect there students! Allowing immoral lesbians to a school function is against God! Better to cancel to the prom or set up a diversion fake prom to protect the other kids!
Next thing they will want to have homosexuals get married in Mississippi and God would not approve! READ THE BIBLE!
Sue says: Yeah James, God will be SO UNHAPPY!! God hates!! uh huh. I’m sorry but the God I know loves everyone. Bible thumpers like you are the reason for so much hate and discrimination in the world. Yeah just go read your bible and look down your self righteous nose at everyone!
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meh:D says:
um hunny u r SUPPOSED to think about wat God would want you to do all the time and the term “Bible thumper” is offensive. all sins are the same in His eyes; being a lesbian is just as bad as lying about doing your homework or watever. God does love everyone. we have no place to judge
meh:D says: Highschool=drama u gotta live with it so its better just to forget it and move on
juan carlos says: thats what she deserves for almost ruining prom for the whole school. i wonder what the following school day.
hekate says: I can’t believe that they’d sink so low as to hold a fake prom, just to get rid of the ‘different’ students.
JohnHolmes says: http://nems360.com/view/full_story/7001614/article-UPDATE–Miss–teen-gets-second-chance-at–prom-?instance=secondary_stories_left_column She hadn’t been gay long. She well known at school with the Boys.
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